Revenge and Remorse

The buzzer cries and I realize that it is already end of the period. How is it that I am face-to-face with the bright green vinyl mat beneath me? Dazed, I realized that in the blink of an eye, I descended from a position of integrity to one of struggle and submission. One hundred twenty seconds remain and I have the ability to alter the status of my team; everyone is nervous at this point, even my coach. I think about my season-and-a-half of hard work and want to prove my ability to everyone watching. My teammates are cheering me on just as the third period is starting, but realistically, they are not expecting much.
This was my first experience as a varsity wrestler during my sophomore year of high school. That night, I was awarded the last match, giving me ample time to “prepare” myself. Seconds seemed like minutes, minutes like hours, and hours like days. My mind switched back and forth, imagining victory one moment and defeat the next. All of a sudden, my fears intensified as the situation shifted from bad to worse. The score was nearly tied and it was my turn to wrestle. The tension in the gym was seemingly growing without bound. My teammates explained to me that as long as I did not get pinned, we would win the match. With that in mind, I was content until I was faced with one of the most respected wrestlers in my county and in the state of New Jersey. No one from my high school had beaten him in three years and from his body language, I knew he was confident that he could obliterate me. I narrowly survived the first two periods of the match, four minutes down and two to go; the team win was so close I could smell it. The third period started and before I knew it, I was struggling as my opponent quickly put me to the mat and began to roll me towards my back. By focusing my mental and physical strength, I was able to find the awesome power necessary to withstand the pin, resulting in a deserved team win.
My entire team and the audience were rhapsodic after that match. I was sure that the “David! David!” chant that seamlessly emerged from the stands could be heard miles away. At this very moment, my life forever changed. It became evident that the true meaning of success is not derived from the superficial but from within. I began to have flashbacks to the demanding three-hour practices each day and my additional hour workouts at home and did not regret a minute of it. From that moment on, very little posed a threat to me whether it was sports, schoolwork, or my long-term goals. If I set my mind to it, I realized, I could accomplish virtually anything. From that night onward, I was reawakened as an athlete, as a student, and as a person.

Truth

Happening truth: I used to go into Starbucks every day to buy a latte. Since I am a pretty picky person, my order would usually be specific. The café was very important to me because it provided a similar environment for me to relax in every day. As a result, I would feel very comfortable and often daydreamed in my chair. When I finished, I would simply carry on with my day.
Story truth: “Comin’ right up, sir!” Ah, my morning anthem. In a flash, my double mocha no whip half-caf pumpkin latte appears on the table. I pay my bill to the cashier and scurry off to my usual location, a red polyester seat in the back-left corner in the café. Looking at the concoction is a catharsis like no other, my preamble to a quality day. The aroma to me is like a breath of fresh air. However, today something is different, something is not quite right, I can sense it. I carefully remove the plastic lid and peer into the contents of the polka dotted foam cup. Swirls of dancing off-white foam cover the top of the drink; other than that, everything is business as usual. As I begin taking sips of my beverage, I cannot help but to think, “What exactly do these swirls mean?”
Patterns, patterns, patterns…they are voice of knowledge from Mother Nature herself! A swirl must have some sort of underlying secret, some connection the world of mathematics. As a successful scientist and engineer, I eventually concluded that knowledge is strictly limited; true scientific scholars are those seeking out the answers to the unquestioned, the truth to the unheard of. They must realize that everything should be taken into account, every voice must be heard, and every idea must not be taken lightly. One must be willing to look beyond what is given to her or him and be willing to take observations into her or his own hands. I have come to realize that some of math and science’s greatest achievements come not from Pythagoras or Rutherford but from the world around in which we live.
I snap out of my daze in the café and realize that my mind has been wondering for an hour already. For some, the foam on a morning latte is a minor annoyance, a barrier between one’s stomach and a high-class brew. For me on the other hand, it is my calling to question, learn, discover, and create.

Metafiction

I can still remember the first essay I wrote in the first grade. It was on the different uses of copper and why it is important to the world in which we live. Growing up, I honestly did not like writing. Something about it just bothered me. I was often forced to write about topics that did not interest me or I did not feel passionate about. I mean, who really cares about the uses of copper or why George Washington chopped down a tree? I simply was not given the opportunity to express myself in the way I wanted. In the writing world, I was obviously not regarded as superior. I came home with poor marks on my papers and did not understand why. Poor marks led to poor motivation and poor motivation led to poor writing. Eventually, I concluded I was not a writer. In high school, things took a turn for the better.
When I write, I seem to follow certain paths depending on what style I am supposed to use. I usually take advantage of creative essays by writing about the obscure and usually test my limits. When asked to write a poem, I seldom rhyme or use rhythm because I know I do not have to. I simply try to tell a story or a moral in a few lines. When I write essays, however, I try to follow all of the rules and use a large vocabulary. Finally, when asked to write a journal, I generally try to follow most of the rules but never use big words to try and seem casual. Overall, I think writing is a diverse way of expression. Despite this, there are a few things that I do not enjoy about writing. First of all, I feel as if self expression is limited. I do not think there should be ANY rules when it comes to writing; Is not writing about expressing one self? If I wanted break free from standards of writing, such as not indenting paragraphs or not having an introduction on a paper, I feel as if I have the right to do that. Art is what somebody makes of it and should not have any bounds. Paintings and music both seem to have no restrictions on them and so should writing.

Superstitions

Many people, including me, have superstitions about the world around them. From walking next to a black cat to breaking a mirror, people seem to be afraid of the most trivial things. However, there is a method to their madness. Superstitions, of course, have their origins but that is generally not why people follow them. They are usually observed based on the principal of “luck”. For example, if one was to open up an umbrella in a house, they may hesitate because it is said to bring about bad “luck” in the future. The reason why superstitions cannot be easily dismissed as phony is because it is impossible to prove them not true. When somebody consciously commits an unspeakable act such as stepping on a crack in a sidewalk, he or she may start to become paranoid and begin to notice all the little things in his or her day that go wrong. On the contrary, when someone receives “good karma” by doing an act of kindness, he or she may begin to notice all the things in his or her day that go right.
Superstitions are also observed on the principle of fear. If I was to tell someone something ridiculous, such as drinking a glass of orange juice will decrease a life span by 18 minutes, that person would become hesitant to drink a cup of orange juice. Of course, that fact is not true and most people would know this. However, is it really worth the risk to take a sip of that juice? What if what I said actually was true? That is a common thought process of superstitious people. When a ladder is leaning against a building, for example, I always choose to walk around it. It takes no additional effort to walk around the ladder and is less risky, I figure.

Mary Anne Bell Analysis

This chapter in the novel describes the actions of Mary Anne Bell. Eddie diamond, a man that truly is after pleasure, one day is talking and makes a joke. He said that the area that they were in is so safe that they could even bring a girl and she would be fine. Mark Fossie, a young medic, mistakenly takes this joke a little too seriously. He writes a letter to Mary Anne Bell, his elementary school sweatheart. A few weeks later, she is flown in with some supplies. It is apparent that Mary is both curious and intelligent. She begins to pick up some of the Vietnam culture, learns how to cook, and learns how to become a medic. Suddenly, she becomes less feminine and cuts her hair. Eventually, she admits that she would like to stay in Vietnam. Next, she starts to disappear and comes back to the camp less and less frequently. The next time they find her, she is surrounded by dozens of candles, has the carcass of a leopard hanging from the wall, and is wearing a necklace of human tongues.
When Mary Anne Bell is first introduced to the readers in the book, she appears to be an innocent and loving figure. However, she quickly becomes “crazy”. I would not credit her developed behavior towards a physiological disorder. In fact, I think that Mary found her true self by living in Vietnam. Entering a distant land, Mary was given the opportunity to leave her family and society for a period of time. She experienced a great amount of freedom and was under little stress to conform to the standards she was previously accustomed to. Her transition began when she first started adopting the customs of the Vietnamese. Mary’s fast learning shows her interest in the culture of these people. Sometime in her experience, many realizations about her life undoubtedly went through her mind. She probably realized that the life she was introduced to made a lot of sense to her since she refused to go back home and desired to live in Vietnam. Mary accepted her new life style with open arms.

A True War Story

Elements of a true war story according to O’Brien:
“A true war story is never moral”
It has an “absolute and uncompromising allegiance to obscenity and evil”
A true war story “embarrasses you”
In a true war story, “it’s difficult to separate what happened from what seemed to happen”
“A true war story cannot be believed”
“You can tell a true war story by the way it never seems to end”
“True war stories do not generalize”
A true war story will tell the truth about beauty
“Often in a true war story there is not even a point”
“A true war story is never about war”
After O’Briens discussion of how to tell a true war story, I was truly surprised. This chapter caused me to realize that most of O’Brien’s novel is a piece of fiction. Also, it frustrated me since I was unable to tell the difference between fiction and fact in the novel. I now look at previous chapters with a skeptical eye, not sure if the stories are real or not. Many aspects of the novel will now seem less disturbing since there is a chance they never happened. Despite the element of fiction, O’Brien makes it clear that war stories are important. This is because he says that every true war story is actually about beauty, not wars. It causes one to admire the lives of the soldiers and his or her country during times of war. O’Brien goes as far as to call his story a love story. This is because he often describes scenarios where one man dies either next to or on behalf of another. The men’s reactions to the deaths generally reveal loving characteristics.
O’Brien discusses a couple stories about death in this chapter. One was about a man named Curt Lemon. Curt was tossing around a grenade an accidentally stepped onto a rigged bomb, O’Brien claims. The other story was about a baby water buffalo; it was shot many times yet stayed alive. Eventually, it was dumped off in the village well. To me, the story about the buffalo was more disturbing. A baby represents innocence; therefore, I cannot fathom a reason why this baby needed to die. Lemon, on the other hand, died due to a mistake and was not brutally tortured.

Reflection and Connection

Part 1: O’Brien has an atypical emotional battle when he finally decides to join the war effort. He was drafted by the military and at first was very scared. Consequently, he decided to flee to Canada leaving his family a very vague note. Eventually, his conscience overpowered his desire to hide. He became very uncomfortable thinking about what his friends and family would think of his hiding. He felt as if they would be ashamed of him for doing so. Suddenly, O’Brien decided to return back home but felt cowardly instead of brave. This is because he gave into his emotions and was afraid to follow his true desires. I, however, think O’Brien was actually brave by deciding to go to war and cowardly for fleeing his home. Joining the army is obviously very dangerous and a life risking-feat. By ignoring these factors to please others, O’Brien has become completely selfless which in itself is a brave thing to do. If I was drafted in the Iraq war, I would probably have similar feelings to O’Brien’s but I would not leave the country. Instead, I would try and find loopholes in the system and attempt to manipulate my way out of being in the army.
Part 2: The Iraq war is sometimes referred to as the “new Vietnam” war, but how will we ever know the truth? The media constantly slants war stories in the favor of the country by supporting the truths. Also, many battles and deaths are either discussed in a gentle manner or completely ignored. On the other hands, many forms of media also exaggerate the war to make it seem worse than it is, causing an anti-war effort to erupt. Although I do think it is a little bit extreme to compare the Iraq War to the Vietnam war, they are both very similar. Both wars have had virtually no purpose, dragged on, and caused an unnecessary amount of deaths. However, the Vietnam War was more extreme in all three of those categories. I do not believe that we could find ourselves in another Vietnam, at least not currently. After the Iraq war ends, we would lose many strong relationships if we embark on another Vietnam-like war.